If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She is in my trunk
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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