did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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