Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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