I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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