Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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