How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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