Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
