If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
