jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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