does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
