I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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