I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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