also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
