dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
