So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
