And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize