I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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