so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just had sex on a roof
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
