I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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