My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
soo... how was my night?
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