Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
