I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
