he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
