we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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