I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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