i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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