Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
