woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
