i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think your dad took our porno
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
