So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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