You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
