if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
