so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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