Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
