Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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