on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
