The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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