at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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