So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
