so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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