So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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