i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
