U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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