I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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