Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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