Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
