My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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