I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
