I want to stick my p in your. b.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
