idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
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One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
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I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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