I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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