That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
