Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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