I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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