Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
