We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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