while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
