its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
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Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize