the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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