If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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