you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
