I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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